This is where (I have a feeling) my opinion gets really unpopular. I think it's a terrible idea to tell people that it's okay to be a size 26 and that it's okay to be fat and that if you're beautiful on the inside, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside. I want to clarify and say that it is hugely important to be a good, kind, considerate, and loving person. I am not in any way knocking those traits. What I'm saying is that you wouldn't tell an alcoholic it's a good idea to spend every day knocking back cold ones, so why would you tell a fat/obese person that it's okay to be that way?
I am well aware of the fact that I am overweight. Fat. I am fat. I know this, I have accepted it, and I am trying to fix it. But when all I was hearing were messages that told me it was okay for me to be obese, that's what I believed. I understand that there are people who have conditions that severely limit their physical activity. For everyone else, there is a way to lose weight and I think that society should be encouraging that instead of saying that it's okay to be obese. At this point to me, it sounds like they are saying (more or less), "I know you're 200 pounds overweight and I know that this means you'll probably die about 10 years sooner than you would if you were in the normal range for someone of your height because of the health complications associated with obesity, but you're a nice person, so it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside."
When I was at the heaviest I've ever been, I was miserable every time I looked in the mirror, but I was hearing these speeches and trying to convince myself that it was okay for me to weigh that much because I was a generally nice person. In reality, I was only hurting myself.
Beyond that, weight does define who you are. It defines everything about you, because it's what people see and it's what they form their opinion around before they ever talk to you. It defined (and still does define) me. When I walk past a random stranger in the mall or on the street, wherever, they don't know that I am working my butt off (literally and figuratively) to become healthy. All they see is the fact that I am currently overweight. I doubt that many random strangers stop to ponder all of my life choices that led me to this point, but I'm sure that they quickly pass judgment on me as I do on them. It's human nature.
I don't see the point in hiding behind feel good messages. What makes me feel good is working out, is looking at the scale inch ever closer to my goal weight, is eating healthy. I don't think anyone who is legitimately overweight ever looks in the mirror and says, "Damn, I look awesome and there is nothing I would change about my weight situation." I'm sure when I lose the weight and get down to where I want to be I'll have things I want to change about myself, but not near as many as I do right now. Being told that it's okay to be fat and that I'm beautiful regardless never made me feel beautiful like losing weight has made me feel better about myself. Not beautiful yet, but I'll get there. (Although I do get pretty close on good hair days.)
I guess my point is that the focus of our culture and our ad campaigns and whatever else should be on getting healthy and getting to the point where every person is healthy and comfortable with how they look, instead of trying to convince people that even though they may not like where they're at, it's okay and they're beautiful regardless and there's no point in trying to change anything. Those messages doom people to complacency, which is one of the worst places to be mentally.
For the record, I don't think the ad campaigns that imply that you're obese if you're more than a size 2 are great for society either, and should absolutely be sent away as well. People should be encouraged to be healthy - to be in the ideal range for their body type - which almost never happens. I won't hold my breath for any of this to happen, but maybe someday people will come around.
Here, here! I completely agree with you. Do you remember a news story that came out within the last year about an overweight female news anchor who had a viewer say that she was setting a bad example for viewers because she was overweight? She responded to his e-mail with this video: http://www.upworthy.com/bully-calls-news-anchor-fat-news-anchor-destroys-him-on-live-tv Here's another link with the breakdown of the story: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/10/overweight-tv-anchor-jennifer-livingston-responds-to-bully/ This story and others like it perpetuate the idea that it's somehow bullying to tell a person that they are overweight. While some attempts to encourage a person to lose weight are better than others (and, yes, sometimes the person's attempts might be misguided or hurtful), it is ultimately loving to be honest and tell a person we love that their weight hurts their health and that getting healthy and strong will transcend into other areas of their lives to improve their overall health. I am SO PROUD of you for deciding for yourself that you want to be healthy and that you're working toward specific, measurable, and realistic personal goals for you! Keep it up, girl! If I have any beef with your article, it's where you said you weren't beautiful yet. You're beautiful. The scale might not say what you want it to (we've all been there), but your joy and your ability to see that you can better yourself in a healthy way makes you beautiful--well, that, and your cute face. :)
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