Not the most popular of opinions, but it should still be said.

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed today, and I came across an image posted by one of my favorite sites (Spark People) that I completely and wholly disagree with.  The image was this:

This is where (I have a feeling) my opinion gets really unpopular.  I think it's a terrible idea to tell people that it's okay to be a size 26 and that it's okay to be fat and that if you're beautiful on the inside, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside.  I want to clarify and say that it is hugely important to be a good, kind, considerate, and loving person.  I am not in any way knocking those traits.  What I'm saying is that you wouldn't tell an alcoholic it's a good idea to spend every day knocking back cold ones, so why would you tell a fat/obese person that it's okay to be that way?

I am well aware of the fact that I am overweight.  Fat.  I am fat.  I know this, I have accepted it, and I am trying to fix it.  But when all I was hearing were messages that told me it was okay for me to be obese, that's what I believed.  I understand that there are people who have conditions that severely limit their physical activity.  For everyone else, there is a way to lose weight and I think that society should be encouraging that instead of saying that it's okay to be obese.  At this point to me, it sounds like they are saying (more or less), "I know you're 200 pounds overweight and I know that this means you'll probably die about 10 years sooner than you would if you were in the normal range for someone of your height because of the health complications associated with obesity, but you're a nice person, so it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside."

When I was at the heaviest I've ever been, I was miserable every time I looked in the mirror, but I was hearing these speeches and trying to convince myself that it was okay for me to weigh that much because I was a generally nice person.  In reality, I was only hurting myself.  

Beyond that, weight does define who you are.  It defines everything about you, because it's what people see and it's what they form their opinion around before they ever talk to you.  It defined (and still does define) me.  When I walk past a random stranger in the mall or on the street, wherever, they don't know that I am working my butt off (literally and figuratively) to become healthy.  All they see is the fact that I am currently overweight.  I doubt that many random strangers stop to ponder all of my life choices that led me to this point, but I'm sure that they quickly pass judgment on me as I do on them.  It's human nature.

I don't see the point in hiding behind feel good messages.  What makes me feel good is working out, is looking at the scale inch ever closer to my goal weight, is eating healthy.  I don't think anyone who is legitimately overweight ever looks in the mirror and says, "Damn, I look awesome and there is nothing I would change about my weight situation."  I'm sure when I lose the weight and get down to where I want to be I'll have things I want to change about myself, but not near as many as I do right now.  Being told that it's okay to be fat and that I'm beautiful regardless never made me feel beautiful like losing weight has made me feel better about myself.  Not beautiful yet, but I'll get there.  (Although I do get pretty close on good hair days.)

I guess my point is that the focus of our culture and our ad campaigns and whatever else should be on getting healthy and getting to the point where every person is healthy and comfortable with how they look, instead of trying to convince people that even though they may not like where they're at, it's okay and they're beautiful regardless and there's no point in trying to change anything.  Those messages doom people to complacency, which is one of the worst places to be mentally.

For the record, I don't think the ad campaigns that imply that you're obese if you're more than a size 2 are great for society either, and should absolutely be sent away as well.  People should be encouraged to be healthy - to be in the ideal range for their body type - which almost never happens.  I won't hold my breath for any of this to happen, but maybe someday people will come around.

Things That Are Gross

Remember back in the day in grade school when they used to show you what a smoker's lung looked like as opposed to a nonsmoker's lung?  I specifically recall a day in grade school when they actually brought in models of lungs for us to look at and hold.  I had enough of a reason not to smoke purely because it's the reason I never really got to know my dad's parents (they died when I was 4 and 5), but I remember how disturbing it was to look at the difference between the two lungs.  Just in case you never got to have the fun and exciting experience of seeing the difference, let me show you:

Guess which one is that of a smoker!

Anyway, it seems that now here in America, we've pretty much accepted that smoking sucks with the move toward severely limiting where smoking is allowed.  For example, here in Omaha you can't smoke in bars or restaurants anymore.  It's so nice to be able to go to dinner or out with friends without having to be around cigarette smoke.  

The new problem America faces is obesity.  While people are definitely acknowledging that obesity is a problem here, most of the country is not doing nearly as much as they should.  I've heard people throw around the idea of a 'fat tax' on things like soda and fast food, but I don't think any of it has been a serious discussion.  It also doesn't help that kids are spending so much time playing video games and so much less time doing things like going outside and playing.  Anyway, I saw a picture tonight (courtesy of SparkPeople on Facebook) that I'm pretty sure would solve the obesity problem.

This is what one pound of body fat looks like. ONE POUND.

Maybe it would have more of an effect on adults than it would on kids, but either way it's still absolutely disgusting and I'm pretty sure anyone can see that.  As if I wasn't motivated enough right now to lose weight, this just made me want to work that much harder to achieve my goals.  Can't wait to be rid of all of that grossness and way more muscle-y.

Runza

I know I didn't write a blog last weekend like I said I would try to do, but I didn't have anything to write and I didn't want to force it.  I was flipping through twitter today and I came across a tweet from Runza (pretty much my all time favorite restaurant) and I realized what I should write about.

I love Runza.  I don't know if it's because of the childhood memories of going there with my family many, many Friday nights and spending what felt like hours playing on the playground at one of their locations, or the association with the Cornhuskers, or just the fact that the food is so fantastically delicious, but I would eat there every night and never get tired of it.  This is something of a problem considering the fact that it's a whole bunch of calories that I don't need and supporting them because they are a huge supporter of Cornhusker athletics isn't a great reason to eat there (even though in my mind, it totally is).  Proof that it is a problem: as I was writing that sentence, I realized that Matthew and I have tickets from the Husker game we went to that include a free offer from them and thought that would be a good reason to go there.  Yikes.

In any event, with my goals to lose weight and eat healthier plus not spend as much money on pointless things, eating out is something (seemingly) easy to cut out that will help in all areas.  I've done just fine for the most part.  There are a whole bunch of restaurants I would love to go to that I have no problem in the world saying 'no' to.  But when Matt and I are at home looking at the semi-thawed chicken that we don't really want to cook for dinner and we both kind of just look at each other silently daring the other person not to say it, it is almost impossible for me to deny myself the opportunity to have a gloriously delicious cheeseburger (ketchup, mustard and pickle are fine, but no onion please), crinkle fries with a side of ranch, and a lemonade.  (I'm so predictable it's pathetic.)

I'm fortunate that even with my far-too-frequent indulgence in Runza I haven't put on any weight.  I just haven't been losing as much as I should be because, as you might imagine, fast food (even the super-fresh and extra delicious kind they serve at Runza) has a lot of calories and other bad things in it. Since I obviously have a problem (for example, all this post is doing as I write about how terrible it is that I eat there all the time is making me want to eat it more), I need some motivation from somewhere to make myself stop.

I was thinking about it the other day on the way home from work and I decided that I'm going to give Runza up for Lent, as it would obviously be a great sacrifice for me a great test of will.  The only problem with this decision is that Lent is still a couple of months away and I would still like to lose almost ten pounds before Christmas.  The obvious solution is to give up Runza for Advent.  Matthew and I are going to be making several changes in our spiritual lives for the upcoming season but I thought it would be appropriate to make this change as well.  It'll take a lot of will power and some divine intervention, but if I could give up soda and almost all other restaurants plus make the decision to start going to the gym multiple times a week, there is no reason I can't cut this out of my diet.  It'll probably be way more of a struggle than it should, but I can be very, very stubborn if I want to be.  As a reminder to myself, I'm going to make a bunch of notecards that have my next goal weight on them and put them places I'll look whenever I think about going to Runza or eating anything I shouldn't.

I also have to remember that doing the exercises Matt's trainer planned out for him will be of no use if I continue to consume 1460 calories (SERIOUSLY? HOLY CRAP. YIKES YIKES YIKES.) in one sitting.  I should have looked that up a lot sooner.  Maybe instead of writing my goal weight, I'll just write that number all over the place.  Wow.  As much as I love their support for Nebraska football, it's more than a little difficult to continue to blow my daily calorie count on one meal.

Even though Advent doesn't technically begin until Sunday, I am going to attempt to find a way to control my desire to eat Runza for every meal for the next 25 days.  If I do make it through the 25 days, instead of immediately going out and getting Runza, I've decided to reward myself by buying this:

Instead of rewarding myself by making it through the majority of December without Runza by immediately going there and eating nearly 1500 calories in one sitting, I've decided to reward myself by buying this guy.  Manner is my favorite treat from Austria and it's not easy to find in America.  It's also something that I can make last and won't regret indulging in, bits at a time.  I'm sure I'll find my way back to Runza sometime in January, but I think I'd rather have this instead as I've had my eye on it for like, a year.

Hopefully my strength of will and the prospect of a giant bag of Manner Schnitten is enough for me to make it through the next month without Runza. Wish me luck!

Good Day

I've been to quite a few Husker games at Memorial Stadium and Nebraska has always won.  They have all been great experiences.  There have been more exciting games that I've been to, like watching Alex Henery kick a 50-something yarder to go ahead of Colorado only to watch Suh pick off a pass and RUN OVER the CU quarterback/coach's son for a touchdown to seal the win.  But today's game was far and away my favorite game.

Aside from it being the last home game of the season/Senior Day it was also Tom Osborne's 500th game in official capacity for the University of Nebraska, and his last home game before retiring at the end of the year.  For those not in the know, Tom Osborne is basically the definition of college football in the state of Nebraska.  He was an assistant coach before he was the head coach for 25 years and led his team to a bowl game in every single season.  He never won fewer than 9 games in 25 years.  He led the Huskers to 3 national championships and one of the most dominating stretches in college football history.  During the 1995-1996 season, for example, Nebraska won every game with the closest one being decided by a margin of 14 points and the national championship by a margin of 38.  After retiring in 1997, he went on to be a 3-term U.S. Congressman, lost a gubernatorial race, and then became the interim-turned-full-time Athletic Director in 2007.  There's hard to find one bad thing to say about the man.  I think it's best summed up by this story: a state legislator for Nebraska wanted to make the point that the general populace is a bit sue-happy so he tried to bring a lawsuit against God.  When the courts said he couldn't sue God because he couldn't be served, the legislator sued Tom Osborne instead, stating that he was as revered as God by the people of Nebraska.  Needless to say, we take our football seriously here.  But Tom Osborne really was and is something else.

I'm sure he was absolutely mortified when they told him this game was going to be a tribute to him and his career, but for everything he's done, he deserved it.  They changed the tunnel walk video to focus on his achievements, had him lead the team out onto the field (!!!), had several "Thanks Coach" videos recorded by various individuals, and had a halftime video full of highlights and people talking about how he impacted them.  One of my favorite clips they showed was this one - especially the part where Lee Corso talks about his record vs. Tom Osborne.

Aside from that, it was also just a hugely dominant effort from everyone on the Husker team.  The game was a fun one to watch, a nice break from the cardiac kids in the last 5 weeks - there's only so much coming from behind to win on the final play a person (or fan-base) can take.  To see all the seniors step up was great.  Only way it could have been better was to have Rex Burkhead back.  It was at least nice to see him suited up for the game as opposed to in street clothes.  Even Matt had a great time.  I think he was hoping I wouldn't notice him cheering and clapping and jumping up and down every time something good happened. :P

Things got interesting after the game though - as we were walking back to our car from the stadium, we were crossing one of the major streets when we had a walk signal when Matt almost got hit by a car.  I mean, this car came probably within two feet of us.  When I turned to look at the car and say some not-so-nice words, he honked at us.  Because it is definitely our fault that we got in the way of his car when he was trying to make a right hand turn even though a) we were pedestrians (who always have the right of way as it is) and b) had a walk signal.  After that super exciting experience of practically seeing my husband run over by a car (not an experience I recommend, by the way) I noticed a random cell phone sitting in the grass halfway down the next block.  Naturally, I picked it up and called the kid's mom (thank goodness there was no lock on the phone!) who got me in touch with her son.  He was a nice kid, but blissfully unaware of any streets/locales outside of Bellevue.  After getting off the phone with him, Matt and I were crossing another street with another walk signal when we almost got run over again.  Apparently no one in the city of Lincoln knows how to follow traffic laws.  I guess I missed the memo where making a left hand turn when there are pedestrians in the cross walk is totally legitimate - no big deal if you almost run them over.

Anyway, so we got back to our car and went to the gas station where I suggested that we meet the kid who's cell phone we had.  I called his girlfriend to let them know we were there and he apparently thought we were meeting in Omaha.  I guess my saying 84th and Cornhusker wasn't clear enough even though I said, "It's on the way out of Lincoln, about halfway to Waverly."  We ended up having to double back because the on-ramp we tried to take was closed and go seriously out of our way to get the kid his phone.  We were a little aggravated the whole time because we were just trying to do the right thing and it was causing way more drama and stress than it was worth.  Of course, when we finally got to where we were meeting in Bellevue and gave the kid his phone back, the look on his face made it all worth it.  Knowing how much he appreciated it and the fact that he had some really treasured pictures and things on there he hadn't gotten a chance to transfer off the phone yet made me glad that I was the person who found the phone.  It made all the hassle completely worth it.  It just felt good.

I got to spend a fantastic day with my wonderful husband (who I appreciate so much more after the way-too-scary traffic fiasco) celebrating a college football legend and watching the Huskers put up a great win in addition to really helping someone out.  Plus, I was wearing my skinny-day jeans today and they were loose.  I'm just going to add 16 points to the Win column for today.  I don't think I can find anything to complain about.

And just for fun, a few pictures:

 Post first-score balloons floating into the sky

The view from our seats - surprisingly good!

Husker game number 3 together!

Milestones/Wedding Dress

After another so-so week at the gym (and probably not eating as healthily as we should), Matt and I spent a decent amount of time at the gym on Friday evening.  He started with his new trainer and I did intervals on the treadmill while they were working.  Once Matt learns all the exercises, we'll be doing the workouts together on days he's not meeting with his trainer.  In the meantime, we are way more motivated to get to the gym.  It will be great for us.

Even with the last couple of weeks not being the best in terms of working out, we went to watch the Husker game yesterday with my mom and sister and my mom pointed out that she could tell I'd lost weight when she saw me walk in.  Compliments like these are the best - when someone who hasn't seen you in a while points out that you look better than you did the last time.  I know that I've lost weight because the scale tells me so, but I see myself every day so I don't get to see the changes as much as someone who sees me less frequently which is why it means so much to hear it from someone who doesn't see me every day.

This, combined with the fact that I finally collected my wedding dress from my dad's place and it's just been sitting alone in a closet for 2.5 years, made me want to try on my wedding dress just to see how it fit compared to my wedding day.  I was a little hesitant as I knew I'd put on weight since then.  As it worked out, it fit significantly looser than it did on the actual wedding day.  The cap sleeves were hanging off my shoulders and there was a good inch around my middle.  I honestly couldn't believe it.  It also reminded me why I LOVE LOVE LOVE that dress so much. Here's a picture from the day:

Is it terrible that if I could, I would wear it every day cause it's shiny and pretty and sparkly and princessy?

Even though I have a lot of weight left to lose, it's fun to find ways to motivate myself and to remind myself that I am making progress and a lot of times, the progress I'm making is more significant than just the number on the scale (which, thankfully, continues to drop).  I haven't checked whether I fit into my high school skirt yet, but I have one more goal I'd like to hit before I try it on again.

For a long time, I wondered if I'd ever find the motivation to actually attempt to lose weight.  It's something I've tried to do several times over the years between high school and now.  I always got a good start and then something happened to impede my progress.  I think I've finally gotten to a point where I can be slowed down some days or weeks, but I always get back to it.  Having a partner as amazing as my husband to lean on has made all of the difference.  And trying on my wedding dress today (even if I was only wearing fuzzy socks and not the pretty pretty princess shoes I purchased to wear with the dress) reminded me why I married him in the first place and how happy he makes me; that I am so lucky to be married to such a wonderful man.  I love that this has become a two-person effort. :)

I can't wait to see the end results whenever we get there.  The sweetest part will definitely be knowing that we did it together.

Tschüss!

The Huskers are going to make me die of a heart attack at the age of 30.

I was born in Nebraska.  For those not aware, this automatically means that I am a passionate Husker fan.  The six years I lived out of state made me obsessively passionate.  With that said, the last few weeks have been a little much to handle.  As the title of this post might suggest, the games have been stressful to say that least.  We've become the comeback kids.  I am incredibly happy that we are winning our games; I just wish that we would win them in not-so-dramatic fashion.  It is really hard and really frustrating to keep watching teams roll right over us for the first three quarters.

Today, after the first three quarters and then watching Michigan State run it back for a touchdown (or what I assumed was a touchdown - I turned the TV off before the player crossed the goal line) giving them a 17 point lead, I couldn't take it anymore.  I had so much frustration built up that I was giving myself a migraine (I get them from all sorts of things and stress is definitely a migraine inducer for me) and I just needed a break.  I didn't want to watch a heartbreaking loss after finally having a chance to take control of the B1G Legends division.  I turned off the TV, vented to Matt, and then had an overwhelming desire to go running.  I needed a way to fight the nervous energy and all I wanted to do was workout.  So we changed clothes, went to the gym, and I started running.

In the meantime, I was trying to avoid the game until someone clapped.  I caved and turned on the game to see the "controversial" pass interference penalty in the end zone.  I noticed that we were only down by three with 17 seconds left and I got excited.  I was running my heart out when the Huskers scored and I inadvertently threw my hands up in the air and screamed "TOUCHDOWN".  And then I realized that I was at the gym and not at home so I clapped my hands over my mouth and looked around and the guy on the bike behind me smiled and gave me a thumbs up.  I love this state.

I missed the amazing comeback and I feel a little embarrassed that I lost faith in the Huskers, but instead of channeling my nervous energy into something negative, I turned it into something good - a nice workout.  And while it may sound ridiculous to a lot of people to be this passionate about something as seemingly insignificant in the grand scheme of things as a football team (I know most of my in-laws think I'm clinically insane for this reason), it is a huge deal here.  It unites the entire state and makes you feel like you belong to something bigger.  Besides that, when I love something I do it 400%.  I don't know how not to.

Mostly I'm excited that I turned all of my negative feelings into something positive - a step toward getting healthier.  The Husker win doesn't hurt either.  Go Big Red!

Happy Blog-aversary to Me!

Welp, it's here.  I cannot believe it's been a year since I started this thing.  I know I've said some variation of that phrase far too much in my last few posts, but it's completely true.  I cannot believe how fast time has gone.  As promised, I'm going to do a recap and look at where I was then vs. where I am now with regard to the three goals I had a year ago today.

1. Lose weight and get healthy

I have definitely gone back and forth on this goal, but I think for the time being (and hopefully far into the future) I'm doing well.  My specific goals were these:

• To eat better (cutting out almost all fast food, soda, and junk food)
• To get more (or any) exercise
• To be more informed about the things I'm putting in my body

I'll start with the pros: I have not had soda in over a year.  I don't remember exactly when the last time I had soda was (I want to say it was on the leg of my flight to Europe) but I have stuck to my guns with this one.  I know how many calories are in a can of soda and I've just decided that it's not worth it.  There's nothing good about any of it, so I don't drink it at all - no exceptions for mixers with alcohol or even for something like a root beer float.  It's been incredibly challenging at times, but as time has passed it has gotten easier.  People act like giving up soda is a crazy challenge and impossible to do, and I want to laugh.  Is it hard? Absolutely.  Is it the dramatic, life-altering event that people seem to think it is? Definitely not.  It's so worth it.  I don't even want to think about the calories that I was wasting on sugary drinks.

As far as fast food and junk food, I feel like I've done better with those.  Aside from my being a Runza-holic (which I have seriously toned down in the last couple of months) I have made big progress here.  The last two months have been HUGE in this regard.  Matt and I have seriously limited the amount we've been eating out.  We've been very good at sticking to a menu (or at least improvising with what we have when we just haven't felt like eating what was planned).  As far as junk food, it isn't something we really have in our house and definitely not something we purchase often.  We had a stressful day this past week and kind of vegged out that night with ice cream and all sorts of crazy stuff, but typically I don't eat it.

I've also been pretty consistent with exercise - at least lately (excluding this past week).  The last week was an off week for me, but I will be back at the gym next week and working out with a passion.  I don't like it when the number on the scale goes up, so I am really motivated right now.  With Matthew getting a personal trainer, we are both more motivated than ever.

The cons:  The biggest thing I haven't done that I really wanted to was learn more about what I'm putting in my body.  I had plans to basically go through a food label and learn what each item was, what my daily intake of that particular item should be based on my caloric intake and I have yet to do it.  That will be goal number one for the coming months.  I hope to learn enough that I can formulate a diet for Matthew and myself that really conforms to our goals.

2. Learn fluent German

This goal is pretty straight forward.  I think that I was setting myself up for failure here based on the fact that there was no way I was going to learn fluent German in a year without living in a German speaking country.  I have made huge strides in learning German and I know a lot, but I am not close to being fluent.  I'm still kind of uncomfortable actually speaking the language, but I've (sort of) gotten over my fear of writing in German to native speakers.  With the big trip to Austria next year, I have a timeline and several goals still to accomplish.  I want to finish Rosetta Stone and work on really memorizing the genders of nouns as well as the prepositions and pronouns.  German is an incredibly complex language.  Some days I feel like I've got it down pat and the next day I just want to rip my hair out because I feel like I'll never understand it all.  The fact that I have people who are so willing to help me has made all the difference.

3. Move back home

Woohoo!  Total success here.  Not only did we move to Omaha, we bought a house.  Matthew and I have a conversation at least once a week about how happy we are that we moved here.  We both have jobs we really like with great schedules.  I can happily check this one off the list.

I have some pretty clear goals as far as fitness and German go, and I'm adding one more to the list for the next 12 months: financial fitness.  I'll save the details of this one for another blog post, but when I started this blog I wanted to become a better person and there are so many ways that I can better myself and that Matthew and I can better ourselves as a couple that I don't want to just give up now.

My last goal for this coming year is to write 52 blog posts - one every week.  Maybe I'll fit it into my schedule and have a set day for blogging, but I doubt it.  I like spontaneity.  This way, I can really hold myself accountable and I don't end up with 20 posts that start with "I know it's been awhile, but..."

I want to end with a picture comparison - I haven't lost a ton of weight in the last year (~15 pounds) but here are pictures of me then and now:

Me last year inside an Austrian tank (this may have been the highlight of my life)

Me earlier this week with my favorite food of all time, a Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cake

I still have a long way to go, but comparing these two pictures makes me feel like there has been progress made and motivates me to keep going.

Ich freue mich sehr auf das nächste Jahr! (I'm very excited for the next year!)

Tschüss!

Why Austria?

I'm not really sure how it's possible, but it's officially been over a year since I got back from Austria.  I mean, I understand the concept of time and whatnot (I'm not a total nimrod) but I just can't believe it's been a year.  More than a year, actually.  And since I get all reminisce-y around the anniversaries of my trips to Austria, I decided to write about why I love it there.  As far as I can remember, I've not actually written about this so I'm going to now.

None of this would ever have happened were it not for a friend of mine, Megan (or as I liked to call her, Wendy).  She worked at my family's bakery and was a sort of host for a group of Austrian students  that were studying abroad here in Omaha.  She mentioned that she was going bowling with them that night and asked if I wanted to come.  I said sure, and ended up going and having a spectacular time.  So spectacular, in fact, that I ended up hanging out with this group quite a few more times over the next couple weeks until they left.  (I would also like to take the time to say that I absolutely did NOT partake in any illegal activities and didn't drink any alcohol at all because I was not yet 21 and that would be ILLEGAL.  I would never have done that. *cough*)  Aaaaanyway, moving on.

I remember a few things specifically about this time - mostly at first that I had a vague idea where Austria was but I really knew nothing about it.  I remember going home after the first night out bowling and googling the country and reading up on all of this.  And then I remember telling one of my friends about what I'd learned which, apparently, amounted to the fact that Austria looks like a chicken drumstick.  I guess this was mildly offensive as my friend retorted back with, "Well...the United States looks like a steak!", which is totally true.

United Steaks of America.  Bahahahahaha

Please, tell me that Austria doesn't look like a chicken drumstick.  Seriously.

Aside from the various foods that these two countries resemble, the other big way that I was almost immediately impacted was my choice of language at college.  For some reason (probably because I'm really, really weird) I had decided that I was going to study Latin at college.  It was actually a logical choice as I, at the time, wanted to go on to law school and thought having a background in Latin would be beneficial.  And then I met the Austrians and they told me I was being absolutely absurd and that obviously, German was the far better language to study.  I guess I must have been really impressionable because I ended up switching my language at school to German.  My professor ended up being Austrian, which was awesome; and she was my favorite professor in college.  In the end, my not taking Latin worked out as I ended up not going to law school and really having absolutely no use for the language.

After studying German for a semester and doing better in that class than any class I've ever taken (I'm pretty sure I had a 98% for the class), I decided to study abroad in Vienna the summer between freshman and sophomore year.  Of course, that ended up not working out after I had a totally crazy professor that taught everything wrong (and it's not just me exaggerating either! I've told my native speaker friends what he said and basically their reaction is to say that he's a total moron) and also wore really baggy sweaters and glasses that made his eyeballs look 17 times larger than they actually were so that he looked like an overgrown Dobby.  Totally not kidding.

He looked exactly like this except with smaller ears, glasses, and pants.

Since my second semester German professor kind of destroyed my enthusiasm for Truman's German program (and also, as it turns out, I needed money to make it through the next year of school) I ended up staying in America and working all summer - still one of the biggest regrets I have.  (If you are in college and thinking about studying abroad, FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.  You won't regret it.)

Eventually, after two and a half more years of college and getting my degree, I had the time during what would have been my last semester to kill before I got married.  As I was pretty much just hanging out in Kirksville, working, and doing more than my fair share of drinking (this time legally, thankyouverymuch) I had a discussion with my darling husband (who at this point was my darling fiancé) the fall before I went and told him that I wanted to visit Austria and I didn't know when I'd have this opportunity again and that it was really, really important to me.  As much as he really didn't like the idea of me travelling to a foreign country alone to see a bunch of people he'd never met, he conceded when he saw how important it was to me.

Aside from the fact that I was desperately thirsty when I landed and they apparently don't believe in water fountains in Austria, I was pretty much convinced as soon as we left the airport and got into the city that I was born on the wrong continent.  Maybe it's just me, but Vienna is spectacular.  I was there for five days, got the stomach flu, spent two and a half hours walking from the place I was staying to the city center when it should have taken me fifteen minutes, got lost on the subway and ended up taking six flights of stairs in one station not realizing that there was an elevator for a reason, and was there for the coldest part of the year and I wouldn't trade that trip for anything.  There's obviously something to be said for the fact that I was visiting people I hadn't seen in 4 years and their company was fantastic, but the city itself is magical.  I stood in a room that both Napoleon and Mozart had been in - which is in the palace where Maria Antonia, or Marie Antoinette as she's more commonly known, grew up.  I ate at a cafe Freud and many of his contemporaries frequented.  I stood on the Heldenplatz, which is where Hitler announced he was taking over Austria and then, fifty years later, Pope John Paul II gave a speech about peace.  It's kind of unreal to think about.  Obviously all of Europe has an incredible history, but Austria's history is especially fascinating to me.  It doesn't hurt that the city is beautiful - even in the dead of winter.

I'm probably the pickiest eater of all time, especially given that I'm 24 (there are two year olds who are more adventurous eaters than I am), and I have yet to find fault with the food there.  One of the things that I love about the food in Austria (but that applies to Europe as a whole) is that there are strict regulations about what you can put in food as far as food colorings and preservatives.  One of my favorite examples is that they actually have to make Oreos differently for Europe than they do for America because the processed crap that they load the Oreos with here won't meet the standards that EU has in place.  Everything there is much, much healthier than what we eat here.  Also, much more delicious.  Even my personal favorite thing that I've eaten there (and probably just ever, only excluding V. Mertz's pepper steak), Käsekrainer.  It's basically a giant hotdog (but better, because it's Austrian) filled with bits of cheese that melt when you cook it so that when you bite into it, the cheese melts into your mouth and there are approximately NO WORDS for how delicious it is.  We have something vaguely similar in America, I think, but it doesn't hold a candle to the deliciousness of the Käsekrainer.  Aaaand I am officially the only person in the world who would go from writing about being impressed by the incredible history of a country to writing about why their hotdogs are so much better than America's.  Yikes.

Maybe I'm crazy, but when I'm in Austria I never want to leave and when I leave I only want to think about when I get to go back.  For as much as I've written, there really are no words to describe how I feel about Vienna, and by association, the rest of the country.  It's a country like none other and if you ever get a chance to visit, absolutely go. :)

Time flies!

I have been working extra hard lately on my goals because it is only a few short days until it's been a year since I started this blog - eeek!  I can't believe how time has flown.

Slowly but surely going to the gym is becoming a habit.  Matt and I have gone consistently for at least three days a week if not more, and Matt just signed up for a personal trainer.  He's only meeting the trainer for one day a week, but he gets workouts scheduled for the entire week in addition to many, many other benefits.  And when he's not working with his trainer, I can do the workouts with him.  They may be a little much for me, but I'll try my best to hang with Matt because I'd like as much as he would to drop fat and build muscle much faster.

I think the most consistent theme of the past couple months is giving things up and making sacrifices.  We know what we want and not only have we been willing to give up things to get it, we have actually been giving things up.  With the exception of this past weekend going out to eat with Matt's mom while she was in town, I don't really remember the last time we ate out.  We've also been cutting back in a lot of areas (like television) in order to save money for the things we really want (like a personal trainer).

While my goal was always to get healthier and learn German, I have been about 300 times more successful since Matt decided to join with me.  I'm not anywhere close to where I hoped to be or thought I'd be when I started this adventure - I still have more weight to lose than I care to admit and my German is really not that great - but I have made progress and I am finally heading in the direction I want to be heading and getting healthier is becoming habit.  The German is slacking a little bit, but I have made a conscious effort these past few days to really bring that back into the forefront of my mind.

I think that part of the reason that I'm so motivated is that we booked the trip to Austria.  I now have a set deadline by which time I need to have met my goals: August 17, 2013 -- 296 days from today! I want to be down to my goal weight by then and to be comfortable speaking the German language.  I know I won't be fluent unless I have some sort of traumatic brain injury that magically renders me capable of speaking German, but I can increase my proficiency quite a bit by then.  I hope to finish with Rosetta Stone within the next couple of months (right now I'm at the beginning of Level 4-2 so I have to finish basically 3 lessons for level 4 and 4 lessons for Level 5) and then I'll probably go through my German textbook and through my German grammar book working on problems and making sure my understanding of the language and ability to write is where I want it to be.  In addition to doing that, I'm going to make sure to converse in German as much as possible with my native speaker friends.  It's something that for some reason I really struggle with, so I'm going to focus on that.

I am so excited to see where the next year takes me.  I hope to be in better shape than ever in my life and I hope to have made much progress with my German.  I am going to use every resource available to me in both areas.  And I think I'll add a few new goals as well.  I will definitely have a new post for my One Year Blog-aversary if not beforehand.

Tschüss!

Time Changes Everything

I've had a lot on my mind lately.  I've been thinking a lot about a lot of things; some directly related to my goals as far as this blog are concerned, some that are related to why this blog came about, and a lot about where my life is now compared to where it was a year ago.  Since these things don't seem to want to go away, I've decided to write about them on here.

It was almost a year ago to the day that I visited Austria (I left for Vienna on October 23rd) and looking at how my life has changed since then, I can't be happier with the way everything has worked out. 

My marriage was in a downward spiral when I started this blog.  My husband and I are two very imperfect people who got married rather young and were insistent that we knew exactly what we were doing.  We were kidding ourselves.  Our first year of marriage was wonderful.  I can only hope and pray, however, that we never have to go through another year like our second.  My need to control everything combined with my husband's very tumultuous emotional journey as a childhood sexual abuse survivor made both of our lives something of a living hell.  The "D-word" was brought up more times than I care to admit.  When I decided that I wanted to better myself, it was very much with the attitude that I was going to become better in spite of my husband.  Because I felt like everything else in my life was miserable, I wanted to do the things that would make me happy by myself without consideration to my husband, my marriage, or anything else.  What's truly amazing is that as my situation changed, the things that I'm doing now and the priorities that I set have become priorities for both my husband and myself.

A year ago, my husband and I were both in jobs that we didn't really like in a city that wasn't really conducive to our goals and desires and seemingly without a way to change it.  We'd both been applying for jobs elsewhere but hadn't really gotten anywhere.  Fortunately, a month or so after I got back, Gallup called.  This changed everything.  To say we were stuck in a rut in Peoria is probably the understatement of the century.  I spent an absurd amount of time looking for jobs but never found anything promising.  We'd discussed buying a house but neither of us were sure we wanted the permanency of buying a house in a city neither of us were crazy about.  The doctor Matt was seeing (and the counselor we were seeing together) were probably worse for us than seeing no one at all.  So the call from Gallup was like a seeing a sunrise for the first time after having 6 straight years of night.  I wish I was exaggerating.

(At this point I want to stop and say that there were a few positives to Peoria (mostly people) and it wasn't completely terrible - but with the emotional/mental position Matt and I were in, it was hard to appreciate the good things we had.)

When I say that moving back to Omaha was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, I'm not kidding.  All of the positive changes that have happened in our lives and in our marriage have occurred, I believe, as a direct result of moving to this city.  I was able to find an 8-5 job which has allowed Matt and I to actually spend a consistent and reasonable amount of time together, and he has a doctor who he respects and who actually helps treat his conditions as opposed to worsening them.  We've put our focus back on our faith, we've bought a house, we've done a complete 180.  A year ago today, I was probably bouncing back and forth between my utter excitement for the trip to Austria and my embarrassingly negative emotions toward the man who is my best friend, my soulmate, my spouse.  I don't know how we made it through this year, but we are so much better for it.

Today at the gym, we had a personal training intro session.  They ended up being overbooked and asked us to reschedule, but the trainer gave us some workout tips and had us do some exercises on the treadmill.  Normally, Matt and I do our own thing at the gym so we're not working out together.  Today, we were doing the same workout and it made me realize just how good of a team we are.  We were doing intervals and we had to switch to different inclines every couple of minutes.  It seemed like every time I lost track (or he did) the other one of us was on top of it.  

When I started working out and trying to lose weight, I didn't like it when Matt would work out with me.  I felt like he was holding me back from my true potential.  As things have gotten better between us, I've come to realize that his encouragement only pushes me farther than I can push myself and he makes me believe I can accomplish anything. Losing weight has become a team effort, and though Matt hasn't really tried it much himself, working on German is something he pushes me to do.  I've found that since MY goals have become OUR goals, I've been much more successful.  Instead of me forcing Matt to do things on my terms, he and I are enjoying the adventure that is becoming healthier.  At the same time, we're working out the kinks of home ownership and chores and dieting and - still, every day - our marriage.  

I can safely say that regardless of where I stand on my goals of learning German and losing weight when I analyze them in the next week, this past year has been a total, complete, HUGE success.  

Stuck

While everything has been going really great with getting to the gym and doing my workouts and whatnot, I seem to be stuck in a rut as far as my weight going down.  Every time I get down to a certain number, the next day I'm back up where I was the previous day.  I think I've lost the same 2 pounds over and over again for the last two weeks and I have no idea why I can't just break the barrier and keep losing weight.  While I'm as motivated as ever with the exercise, it's just so incredibly aggravating to be seemingly unable to break the barrier I'm at.

I have been running at least three times weekly, and for progressively longer amounts of time.  I haven't really been doing strength training because I'm not nearly as enthusiastic about it as I am about running.  I should probably start doing some sort of strength training, but I'm hesitant to do that because I feel like every time I do, I only gain weight.  Is there some happy medium I'm missing?

I am all ears and if anyone has any advice for me, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it.

Thanks in advance!

Tschüss!

German Plan

While things have been going fantastically for my getting healthy goals as of late, I've been slacking as far as my German goes.  I would say that it's partially because we replaced my Mac as we've been having power issues with it for ages, but it goes back before then.  On the bright side, Matt and I are very close to booking the trip to Austria that we've been talking about for quite a few years.  Though I've been twice, Matt's never been and I cannot wait to go with him and show him everything I love about it.

This is especially good though, because I swore the last time I was there that the next time I went to Austria, I'd be able to actually speak German.  I sincerely doubt it will be anything close to fluent (that's a lot longer away than I thought it would be) but if I can order food or check into the hotel using correct German and doing it comfortably, I will be where I want to be with the language.

In order to get to this point, I definitely need to find the time in the evenings to work on German in addition to going to the gym and taking care of chores.  Working on Rosetta Stone is a little more difficult because of the new computer, but it is really helpful for the types of situations I will encounter while in Austria.  It is also important for me to use all of the books and websites that I have.  My plan is this:
- Study my old textbook at least four times a week to help with my understanding of pronouns/prepositions which are two of the things I struggle with.
- Use Rosetta Stone two to three times per week for at least 30 minutes to have a chance to really use the language and to hear it spoken by native speakers
- Go through flash cards to help build vocabulary at least once weekly.  (I have a TON of flash cards so going through them once per week should keep me fresh - and I can add new words from my book and Rosetta Stone weekly.)

I'll start my new schedule tonight when I get back into my German textbook.  I love the language and it will be nice to dive back in! :)

Tschüss!

Making progress!

Before I say anything else, I would just first like to take the time to say that working for the State of Nebraska is pretty fantastic.  The list of paid holidays is kind of ridiculous, but I definitely don't mind having a 3-day weekend in order to properly celebrate Columbus Day.

But now onto the actual point of this blog: how tonight could have ended drastically differently than it did.  At about 7:30 or so, Matt decided that he really wanted something sweet and the cupcakes in the fridge weren't enough to satisfy his sweet tooth, so he was thinking about going to get ice cream.  After a little back and forth that consisted of, "We really shouldn't, but it sounds so good!" we decided to head to the store to get a cartful of delicious treats that we really didn't need.  As Matt was changing out of his loungewear back into real people clothes, he mentioned how he had intended to go to St. Pius for adoration of the Eucharist.  At that point, I decided to say what I was thinking - that it was probably a terrible idea to get ice cream as it is the last thing that we need and there are other things we could spend $3.00 on.  Matt agreed and decided instead to go to adoration.

I probably should have gone with him, but I elected to stay home and finish the laundry whilst watching Love Actually.  Apparently I'm not the greatest decision maker of all time, but I'll get there eventually.  Aaanyway, as I was folding all of my workout clothes I was reminded of the fact that we hadn't gone to the gym at all this weekend though we were planning to go all three days.  Instead of going on Saturday, I was baking cupcakes and on Sunday we made an impromptu trip to Humphrey (my dad's home town) for the church's annual bazaar there.  It was totally worth the trip and a lot of fun, but going to the gym needed to happen.  So I shot a message to Matt for when he had finished at the church that I would like to go to the gym still tonight.  When he got home, we got ready and went to the gym.  It was a pretty exciting workout too, because I finished the run that I was unable to finish the last time I tried it.  

As we were heading out the door to the gym, I commented to Matt that I was so proud of us for actually stepping up and taking the things that should be priorities in our lives but hadn't been for quite some time and making them priorities.  We've been pretty consistent about getting to the gym (not every day, but at least 3 times a week), we've made church a priority and couldn't be happier with that decision, and we've continued to eat at home instead of going out.  We are very excited about the changes that we've made and look forward to seeing where they take us!

With that said, I think we've both realized that sometimes you have to treat yourself.  Today, for example, we were down in Papillion trying to resolve the issue that is my engagement ring (long story) and after dealing with the situation we decided to go grab lunch at one of our favorite places (Azteca - super delicious Mexican food that is definitely worth a try!).  We could have driven home and eaten there, but we've been pretty fastidious about not eating out for the last month and we decided that since we were out and about and we've been so good otherwise, it would be okay to grab lunch.  It was a nice change of pace.

And one last (group of) thought(s): I can't remember if I've said this already or not, but my end goal is to have people I haven't seen in awhile have to do a double take before they realize it's me.  Matt and I are headed across the pond next year and we are currently trying to get all the details finalized.  Thinking about that has my motivation about as high as it's ever been.  I've gotten to see my friends in Austria in 2010 and 2011, but about 20 months apart.  It'll be 22 months since the last time I've seen them when we go next August.  I don't want them to recognize me.  I want my friends over there to be open-mouthed when they do realize it's me they're looking at.  The trip's not even been paid for yet and I'm already over-the-top motivated.  I hope it just amps up even more once the trip is booked.

And on that note, I should get to bed.

Tschüss!

Sometimes failure isn't the worst thing in the world.

I had an interesting experience tonight.  One that I was hoping wouldn't happen, but I'm glad that it did because it made me realize something about myself.  It wasn't life altering or mind blowing, and most people probably would have just not thought about it, but I did.  Maybe just because it's giving me something to blog about, but that's beside the point.  Tonight, for the first time since I started Couch to 5K, I didn't complete a workout running the whole time.

Up until this point, everything that they've thrown at me, I've done.  To most people, it's probably not a lot to run 5 minutes, but for me it is.  So when I finished the walk 5/run 5/walk 3/run 5/walk 3/run 5/walk 5 workout, I was really excited and proud of myself.  After finishing though, I told Matt that I thought I would need to do it a couple days in a row to feel comfortable before going ahead to the next workout.  But today at the gym, I felt really good and compared it to what today's workout was (walk 5/run 8/walk 5/run 8/walk 5) and decided to go with the latter.  I was getting cramps toward the end of the first run, but made it through and felt way better when I started the second run after walking the 5 minutes.  But by the time I was 5 minutes into the second run, I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it.  My cramps weren't as bad as they'd ever been, but my legs felt like they were going to give out and I was genuinely afraid of tripping and flying off the treadmill in an America's Funniest Home Videos-esque manner.  And seeing as how I am definitely not a fan of humiliating myself/potentially seriously injuring myself, I decided to slow it down and do a walk/jog until I could get back my bearings and jog for the last two and a half minutes.

I'm a little bummed that I can't say that I've made it through every workout now, but I think I realized today that I do have limits and I know where they are.  That's not to say that I'm going to keep stopping whenever I'm tired and not push myself anymore.  In fact, on the contrary, I'm pretty sure the opposite will be true and I will push myself harder than ever because I don't want to not make it through a whole workout again.  I'm just glad that I realized that I do have limits and while I love pushing them, I had to realize that at some point it stops being "pushing the limits" and starts venturing into the realm of hurting myself and I don't want to take it to that point.

Since I obviously was not ready to go to the next workout, I'm going to go back to the previous one and try to increase my speed there as well before I go back to the 5/8/5/8/5 and then to walk 5/run 20/walk 5 (which is mildly terrifying).  I am excited though, because I'm pretty sure that up until this year, if you had asked me if I would ever even attempt to run again, let alone run a 5K, I would have laughed in your face.  Now, I've found something I truly love that only motivates me more and makes me feel like I can do anything - including get down to a weight that I haven't seen in years.  It's going to be another challenging few months (probably more than few, even) but I am excited.  I can't wait to keep going and see where I end up.  Ultimately, I want to shock people; I want people who haven't seen me in a significant amount of time not to recognize me.  Hopefully I get there.  I think I will. :)

And on that note, I'm off for the evening.

Tschüss!

Woohoo!

For the first time in a very long while (maybe ever?), every single day this week when I stepped on the scale (which was every day) the number was lower than it had been the day before.  I didn't realize how excited I was about this until I inadvertently said "Woohoo!" as I saw the number this morning.  I don't think I'm as excited about where the number currently is so much as the fact that it's going down - even if only by a little bit each day - consistently.

I attribute this to a couple of things.  The first is that in order for Matt's employer to reimburse us for 50% of the cost of his gym membership, he has to provide proof that he's been there 8 days each month.  Since I run the finances and I'd rather not have to pay the extra money each month, I've been making sure we get to the gym at least 3 days a week.  It also helps that I've been back to running again and the more that I do it, the more that I really, really love it.  Running is so much a mental thing and I love knowing how far I can push myself.  (I've probably mentioned that a dozen times, but it's SO TRUE.)

Besides that, this week is the first week in an absurdly long time that Matt and I have not gone out to eat.  It helps that we no longer live 5 minutes or fewer away from Steak N Shake and Avanti's, but we've really focused on eating at home and finding recipes we love and we've settled into a system.  Since Matt does the cooking, on Saturday mornings he plans the menu and when he's finished, I do the grocery shopping.  On Sunday, he cooks something in the crockpot that we eat for dinner that night and use for lunch every day for the next week.  During the week, we have small meals with no leftovers.  Having our lunches pre-made has made our morning routine a lot more efficient as well.

I still have a lot of progress to make, but it's so motivating to have a week like this where everything is going so positively and we are doing all the things we really need to do.  Knowing that this week has been such a good one, I want to repeat it next week and the week after that and the week after that, etc.

I made the comment to Matt this morning that it really feels like we've settled into a routine that we can stick with and that we are finally doing what we've wanted to do for so long.  It probably sounds silly, but I genuinely believe that the move to Omaha and our purchasing this house has made all of the difference in the world.  Because we are so happy in our marriage and in our jobs, the one thing that we weren't necessarily happy with has come to the forefront and because it's something that's so fixable, we've decided to tackle it head on.  We've had a lot of bad habits in the past, so to be developing positive habits like these is very exciting.

Hopefully Matt and I will continue to have such success...writing blog posts like these is much better than writing the ones I had been about my struggles.  And on that note, I need to get the laundry folded before we head out to watch the Husker game.  (GOOOOO BIIIIG REEEEED! GO BIG RED!)

Tschüss!

As much as I love the German language...

...it drives me CRAZY.  Verrückt.  Ganz verrückt.

I know I said I might write something about German, so I'm surprising everyone (myself included) by actually writing a post about German.

I have come a long way and am doing relatively well, but that doesn't stop me from being completely bewildered by the German language 90% of the time.  As I frequently tell my natively German-speaking friends, the grammar is a hot mess.  I have yet to come up with a better way to describe German grammar, and if you've ever studied German you know what I mean.  It's so funny because like, 90% of the time you read or hear something, you don't even know what the sentence means until the end because that's where all of the relevant verbs are.  I usually translate German into English exactly how it's written because it helps me understand the word order better, but it just sounds so weird.

It's really frustrating/challenging because whenever I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of it and maybe this whole learning another language thing isn't so bad/so hard/etc, something comes up that reminds me that I'm still very much a beginner.  It's not a bad thing though - it just makes me want to work harder to get to the point of actually using German conversationally.  I did have what could *almost* be qualified as a conversation in German with one of my friends and I've worked through my overwhelming fear of using German with native speakers (mostly, still freaks me out sometimes) but progress, I say! Progress!

I guess when I started working on learning German, I didn't realize how much there is to learning another language.  I feel like I can say/read/understand a lot of German in one minute and in the next, I'm looking a German text and wondering what language I'm reading because it's obviously not German - if it was, I would understand more than 3 words.  It also gives me so much respect for anyone who has learned a second language.  It will take me a LOT longer than a year to become even close to fluent (unless I were to move to a German speaking country) so I feel like that goal was biting off a bit more than I could chew.   On the bright side, there really isn't a huge rush and I have several people who have been willing to help me out, without whom I would understand even less than I do.   And I do understand more now than when I started, so that's something.

Above everything else though - how crazy it makes me and how frustrating it can be, I LOVE being able to even say anything in another language.  I feel like a better person because of it.  Hopefully I keep trucking along and eventually get to the point where I can legitimately say that I'm fluent. :)

Thoughts on Progress

I know that I have not been great at keeping this blog updated, but it is always in the back of my mind.  The last (almost) 11 months have been a whirlwind adventure with everything I set out to do in this blog.  I'm not going to do a complete recap of everything until the 1-year anniversary of my first post, but I do have a lot of things on my mind about where I am compared to where I was and I want to talk about those things.

I've been thinking about it a lot because I got an email a couple of days ago from the website I used to book the hostel I stayed at in Vienna last year stating that it had been one year since I booked that trip.  I cannot believe it's been that long.  I think I was imagining things would be a lot different now than they were when I booked that trip, but I can't say I'm dissatisfied with where things are now and I still have a full month and then some before I have to analyze the past year.  I'll stop this rambling introduction now and get to the point. :)

I have made so many little changes since starting this blog that I can't believe I would ever do (and a few big ones too).  I gave up soda which is absolutely huge - and it was very, very difficult at first.  I stuck to it though and can proudly say that I have not had a single carbonated beverage in almost a year.  I was looking at a recipe last night that required root beer (it was a quick and easy pulled pork crockpot recipe) and I skipped over it because I don't want to have any soda in the house.  It may seem crazy to some, but for me this is all or nothing.  I won't eat (drink?) root beer floats (as much as I would love one!), nor will I drink any alcoholic beverage that has soda in it (thank goodness tequila sunrises are soda free!!).  I think that it's something a lot of people have tried doing or would like to do but just don't think they can - it is very, very, very difficult at first.  You have to remember that for the first 4 months after I gave up soda, I was working in a mall with coworkers who would go get soda multiple times a day.  It was so tempting to say, "You know what? I didn't get enough sleep last night and is it really going to hurt to drink one cup of soda?"  But I never did.  I stuck to it and I refused every time and every time it got a little easier to say, "No thanks.  I'll just have water."  The added advantage to this is a concept many people aren't familiar with: caffeine does exactly what it's supposed to do for me when I do drink it (usually in tea, or every once in awhile from a Rooster Booster).  I had a 16-oz thing of tea one night at 8:00 and I was awake until 4 in the morning.  I learned very quickly that I need to cut off all caffeine intake at about 2 in the afternoon if I don't want to be up all night.  The other advantage is that every calorie that I take in comes from food (the only exception being the glass or 2 of milk that I drink each day).  Soda has so many calories - it's amazing how much weight you DON'T gain when you don't drink it.  Even calorie-free diet soda is absolutely terrible for you because of the crap that it puts in your body.  Aspartame? No thanks.

A couple of weeks after I started my new(ish) job a few months ago, I decided I would never take the elevator.  There are several people I work with that take the elevator to the second floor.  I usually race them to see who gets upstairs first and I am proud to say I have never lost.  This wouldn't be a big deal if I only ever walked up to the second floor from the first, but I don't.  There was one day when all of the fax machines were out of commission except for the one in the legal department on the fourth floor.  I didn't know this so I walked up to the third floor to try theirs then to the first floor when that didn't work only to find out there wasn't one in reception then all the way up to the fourth floor and back down to my office on the second.  I felt like I went to Duchesne again!  That's not a typical scenario, but refusing to take the elevator is a mini victory that I'm proud of.  We are moving to a new office next week and my goal is to always take the stairs even though we will be on the fourth floor.  My thought though, is that I did it every day in high school (basement to third floor for advisory) and I would like to be in better shape than I was then.  Hopefully I stick to this, too!

My final little (or big!) step that I've taken is that I have started running.  I stopped for awhile but I've gone back to it and I love it.  I don't think I love running so much as I love knowing that any limit I thought I had has gone out the window.  I don't think there's anything I've ever done that I've pushed myself as hard to keep going as when I'm running.  Even when I feel like I've got nothing else, I've continued to run for another 5 or 8 minutes (not continuously, but I'm getting there).  I was really freaked out because I'm doing the Couch to 5K thing and week four, the plan is: 5 minute warm-up walk, 3 minute run, 1.5 minute walk, 5 minute run, 2.5 minute walk, 3 minute run, 1.5 minute walk, 5 minute run, 2.5 minute walk, 5 minute cool-down walk.  I know it seems a little sad, but I was freaked out to run 5 minutes.  I did not think I could do it at all and was pretty sure I would collapse halfway through this workout.  Every time I thought I wouldn't make it, however, I just thought about this picture (stolen from one of my Facebook friends who was using it as a profile picture):

For some reason, this picture is ridiculously motivating.  Every time I think about it, I feel like I could run a mile and still feel great.  That might speak to the terrible shape that I'm in that I just want to be able to run a mile without feeling god-awful, but I have come so far (when I started, alternating running a minute and walking a minute for twenty minutes made me feel like I was going to die) that I don't even mind.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on where I am now.  I'll hopefully have another post up soon regarding German, but I will at the very least post something for my one-year blogiversary.

Tschüss!

German goals, etc.

Since I don't speak nearly often enough about the German part of this, I'm going to talk a little bit about that today.  I've been working very hard on my German, especially lately and it's been showing.  I've found myself starting to translate a lot of what I think or say into German just to see if I can.  I've also been attempting to not have a panic attack when using German with native speakers and I'm actively seeking out people with whom I can speak German on a more frequent basis.  I've come a long way in 8 months and I'm very excited about it.  Hopefully it continues.

I think that since I started trying to do all of these things (the learning German, the eating healthier, etc.) I've learned a whole bunch about myself.  For this whole time, the working out and eating healthy has been the hardest.  Even with the schedule that I have now, I still find it difficult to do all the things I want to do.  It's never been a challenge for me to continue to work on my German though.  It's easy to tell that I'm making progress and I really enjoy learning the language.  I'm never put off of it by coming across German that I don't understand, but I see it as a challenge and something to improve upon.  I think it's crazy that I can go back and read emails that were written in German that I had to spend an hour translating when I first got them and now I don't even have to think about what's being said.  I know I have a long way to go, but I love that I am getting better.

Since the beginning of the year (or maybe since we moved to Nebraska) Mr. Leick and myself have been talking about what we really want to do with our lives.  He's fortunate enough to have found his calling and he is doing what he loves every single day.  I really enjoy my job, but it's not something I see myself doing every day for the rest of my life.  This came up again tonight when I started speaking in German to my dear husband.  It drives him crazy (but he thinks it's hilarious) when I start muttering in German (which happens embarrassingly often) but this time I was actually speaking to him in the language.  He kept wanting to know what I was saying and I was trying to help him figure it out but I was getting nowhere, so I just told him what I was saying (that I thought it would be fun to speak only in German to him so that he would learn).  He disagreed because he is no fun, but he just kind of looked at me and then went off on a bit of a rant that, quite frankly, I needed to hear. It went something like this, "You are very good at German and very smart and not many people could make the progress you have only doing this mostly by themselves.  You clearly love the language and love to learn it and I could see you teaching it.  It's something you're passionate about and you should do what you LOVE, not what you like."

I've spent a bit of time looking at programs to learn German to see what my options are.  As it turns out, UNO has a program for teaching English as a second language.  Anyone who knows me (or at least looks at my Facebook ever) knows that my love of Austria knows no bounds.  I realize that I'm probably putting it on something of a pedestal, but I love it there and would love nothing more than to live there.  I know that Omaha was the goal of this blog, but I dislike so much about America and I think we've got it all wrong a lot of the time.  Omaha is amazing in and of itself but I want out of America, and Matt's hopped on the bandwagon.  I think our chat this evening about what I should do and what I should try to achieve really made us both realize that there's so much more we BOTH can do and we shouldn't be limited by city limits or state lines or even oceans.  Maybe my love of the German language is just what we needed to throw caution to the wind and say that the world will be our oyster.

Granted, this will take time.  First I have to get to the point where my German is good enough that I can apply for and get into the program and then I have to actually pass and everything, but it's a good goal.  It's something to strive for.  I think one of the things that I'm most looking forward to is that Matt said that if I do this - go for the master's degree and everything - I will be able to study abroad.  The fact that I didn't while I was at Truman is probably the biggest regret that I have from college.  For something I want this badly, and something that Matt wants for me and for us, I think the only question is timing.  It might take awhile but it's something we're going to do.  The ultimate goal is for me to get a job in a Austria (ideally in Vienna, but really anywhere in Austria would be perfect...I'd even settle for Germany) teaching English to high school aged students.  The best part is that Matt really can take his skills anywhere (he does things with a computer...don't ask me what) and he thinks learning German would be fun, which is good because eventually he'll probably need to speak it, especially if we're living in Austria or Germany.

So that's the plan and that's where we've come after 8 months of me learning German.  I'm glad that I have a wonderful husband who is open to my crazy ideas and who will support me no matter what.  I guess that I have a new goal for this blog now: to do all of the things I've talked about in this post.  Plus still the weight loss thing.

Anyway, I've been rambling on for awhile now and I need to get some sleep.  Hopefully this is actually coherent!  On that note, have a good night.

Tschüss!

Marriage is awesome because you get a free training buddy. :D

Tonight was interesting, to be sure.  For the last few days I've not been doing so much of the running thing because my legs have been a little bit bratty and also (partially) because I was really dreading the next workout for C25K.  I've been doing a lot of strength stuff - wall squats, push ups, crunches, etc. which has been really good because I definitely need the strength training to help with the losing weight, but I really want to finish the C25K thing.

Since Matt's been working out as well but both of us hadn't been doing as much as we could or should have, I asked him if he wanted to come with me tonight.  He said he would and so we decided we'd do C25K together.  I'm basically starting it over, but that's okay.  I've done it all before and it'll be so much better if I have a training partner.

I was expecting that it would be easier than it had been at first (I swore I wasn't going to make it to the end of the program on the day that I started) but I didn't really even break a sweat until the third running set.  It was crazy!  Matt had about as tough a time with it as I did at first, so I just kept his pace and when he wanted to stop, I made him keep going.  I think he wanted to take a swing at me a time or two, but he kept going and finished the whole thing.  I loved that I was able to encourage him and keep him going and that doing this together was helping me to get out there and keep running.  For the record, I am incredibly proud of Matt for doing this.  I was proud of myself for the fact that I managed to finish every run that I started and I think it's a huge step for him to start running too.  Hopefully we can keep this going and eventually run a 5K together.  One of the wonderful things about being married is that you'll always have a partner and I am absolutely looking forward to doing this as a team.

We've also gotten much better about not eating out.  I think at some point before I mentioned that we'd made a new budget and we really limited the amount of money we would spend going out and it has made a huge difference.  We've really wanted to go out a few nights but we've stayed in every time and cooked at home.  It's so much easier to be healthy and eat good food (and lose weight!) when you're actually doing the cooking.  Hopefully things will continue as they have been because I think both Matt and I are in a really great place right now.  We'll just keep chugging along and motivating each other.  And if anyone has any great healthy recipes or suggestions for where to find them, I'm all ears!

Also, since I don't think I've talked about it in awhile, things on the German front are going well!  I'm doing Rosetta Stone pretty frequently and I think my handle on the language is getting better.  I'm also going to actually attempt to have a conversation in German with one of my native speaker-friends on Sunday.  I'm not sure how it's going to go, but I've already made said friend promise that he will force me to speak in German even though I don't want to and won't like it.  For some reason (I think I've already mentioned this) the idea of speaking in German to a native speaker scares the crap out of me.  I know that my pronunciation isn't that great and I hate every word in that language that uses the letter u or ü (which is like, 97% of the words in German) because it takes me a good 5 minutes to be able to get the pronunciation right and even then, I have no idea how the last time I said (or the correct pronunciation) it is any different from the first time I said it (or the completely wrong pronunciation).  So hopefully I'll do okay and will manage to get over my slightly ridiculous fear of speaking the language around the only people in the world who will actually be able to help me improve.

And on that note, I think it's pretty well past my bed time.  Goodnight all!

Tschüss! (See! Every word in German! They all have that stupid letter... :P)